I Was Born Free

"We're all one thing, Lieutenant. That's what I've come to realize. Like cells in a body. 'Cept we can't see the body. The way fish can't see the ocean. And so we envy each other. Hurt each other. Hate each other. How silly is that? A heart cell hating a lung cell." - Cassie from THE THREE
Posts tagged "huffington post"

I mean.

I believe this is what they call “reverse psychology”….

I believe this is what they call “reverse psychology”….

Any book advertised with and establishing its setting with the line “it was the summer Coltrane” died is just going to be pretentious and self-absorbed. It sounds like the opening of a poem by a college freshman, not punk icon Patti Smith. There is nothing punk about “Just Kids,” Smith’s memoir of her early years in New York City and her relationship with future controversial photographer Robert Mapplethorpe. Instead, it’s wistful, sweet, and nostalgic, which are words never used before to describe the works of Patti Smith. Even if you’re a big Smith fan, you might want to skip it, especially since you’ve probably already read a book or seen a movie about people are young, in love, have a dream, but are poor, but dammit we’re happy, so happy.
I wonder if HuffPo would have the balls to put a story about Lil Wayne robotripping or something and then under it be like “MORE BLACK FOLKS…”

I wonder if HuffPo would have the balls to put a story about Lil Wayne robotripping or something and then under it be like “MORE BLACK FOLKS…”

When HuffPo’s front page is a Nine Inch Nails pun, it might be time for us all to just quit the internet.

Looks like HuffPo is going to be just as good at “Gay Voices" as they are at everything else!


Ironic ad placement.

This is what “Mulling Legal Action” looks like.

This is what “Mulling Legal Action” looks like.

6) He doesn’t give any money to charity. And when he became Apple’s CEO he stopped all of their philanthropic programs. He said, “wait until we are profitable”. Now they are profitable, and sitting on $40b cash, and still not corporate philanthropy. I actually think Jobs is probably the most charitable guy on the planet. Rather than focus on which mosquitoes to kill in Africa (Bill Gates is already focusing on that), Jobs has put his energy into massively improving quality of life with all of his inventions. People think that entrepreneurs have to some day “give back”. This is not true. They already gave at the office. Look at the entire iPod/Mac/iPhone/Disney ecosystem and ask how many lives have benefited directly (because they’ve been hired) or indirectly (because they use the products to improve their quality of life). As far as I know, Jobs has never even commented about his thoughts on charity. Good for him. As one CEO of a (currently) Fortune 10 company once told me when I had my hand out for a charitable website, “Screw charity!”

Like anyone with an internet connection, I’ve read many horrific things on Huffington Post, but this bizarre, sociopathic paragraph really takes the cake.

If this gentleman had simply tried to make the point that Steve Jobs “makes up for” his lack of giving by creating great products, I would’ve just winced and moved on. But no, according to James Altucher, being CEO of a for-profit company that makes products that are only affordable for the upper-middle class and above makes you more charitable than every single other person on earth. You can all stop wiping asses in Haiti, everybody. You did not come up with the iPad. Jobs wins. And besides, Bill Gates is already dominating the charity space.

I am certainly not going to blame Steve Jobs, who is likely approaching death, for a capitalist system that makes being a weirdly bad person a requirement for achieving his level of success. But we don’t necessarily have to worship him for it. 

I’m beginning to think HuffPo might just be an elaborate art installation on the decline of our society.

I was home alone the other night, and around 3 am I decided it would be hilarious if I started taking ridiculous celebrity blogs from HuffPo and performed them as monologues (The “home alone” factor matters, because otherwise I would be too embarrassed to be caught talking to my computer). I decided to start with Laurie David’s piece, "New Girlfriends".

It’s a couple days later, and I’m not quite sure about “hilarious” (or even “entertaining”), but I’m throwing it up here anyway. Don’t like it? Don’t “like” it.