Anonymous asked: R U a top or a bottom?
I remember when I first moved to the city I was working at the giant Starbucks on Astor Place and it was my first opportunity to make new friends in my new home, so I was making a concerted effort to be really open minded and genial with everyone. This girl who had also just moved to the city (and who kind of got on my nerves) asked if I might like to get a drink after work, and open minded and genial guy that I
am pretended to be, I gave her a hearty “uhhh, yeah, I guess, why not?” We found a bar in the East Village with outdoor seating, got a table, got a round and got settled in. Once all the logistical parts of “hanging out” were squared away, she opened our “getting to know you” night with, “so, top or bottom?” I realized in that moment that I should’ve trusted my instincts that told me what this girl lacked in IQ she more than made up for in desperation and likely saying “my gays.” It was a real Dogville moment. Except instead of having gangsters burn down the bar and murder her, I just listened to her say things like, “I’m really fuckin’ smart,” and “I just know too fuckin’ much man,” for a couple hours.
So, to this day, this question serves as a reminder that I should never be nice to new people.