I Was Born Free

"We're all one thing, Lieutenant. That's what I've come to realize. Like cells in a body. 'Cept we can't see the body. The way fish can't see the ocean. And so we envy each other. Hurt each other. Hate each other. How silly is that? A heart cell hating a lung cell." - Cassie from THE THREE

Miranda July Called Before Congress To Explain Exactly What Her Whole Thing Is

WASHINGTON—Congress convened a special investigative committee this week in an attempt to put to rest questions that have puzzled the nation for much of the past decade, namely what public figure Miranda July’s whole thing is, exactly.

July—of whom many Americans are somewhat aware without being able to articulate what, precisely, she’s driving at—was subpoenaed by the Senate following the release last month of her high-concept independent film The Future, just her second feature in the past seven years. July’s latest cinematic offering, in addition to her myriad other confusing, seemingly unconnected multimedia projects, has reportedly left the nation more perplexed than ever about what it is she’s going for with all this.

"Now, Ms. July, we want to stress that you are in no way on trial here," committee chairman Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-IA) said at the outset of the proceedings. "On behalf of the American people, we simply want to know what it is you’d say you’re about, in a nutshell. We know that you’re an actress, in a manner of speaking, and that you’re also some kind of performance artist or something, but to be quite honest, no one can quite put a finger on what your whole deal is, so to speak.” 

"On a personal note, we’d like you to know that we find you to be a perfectly pleasant young woman," Grassley added. "But seri­ously, what are you trying to accomplish? What’s the whole endgame here, Ms. July?"