I Was Born Free

"We're all one thing, Lieutenant. That's what I've come to realize. Like cells in a body. 'Cept we can't see the body. The way fish can't see the ocean. And so we envy each other. Hurt each other. Hate each other. How silly is that? A heart cell hating a lung cell." - Cassie from THE THREE


That’s not “clouds,” you American Apparel morons. That’s the iconic photo of the 1986 Challenger explosion — in which 7 people lost their lives — superimposed over a red background.

Stick to softcore, guys. 



"No, this is like, ok, I mean, I was a buyer? Right? So this just like, not… this is, something’s really… this is not. Ok?”


When HuffPo puts up the same (extremely unimportant) story twice in a row, I swear it’s like a warm blanket to me.

The one thing that drives me nuts about this show is all the snappy banter. I understand that they have to make the show interesting, but if a guard came in and saw that you had smeared food on the wall, they would have thrown a bucket and scrubber in and not fed you again until you cleaned that shit up. They certainly wouldn’t have allowed you to talk about the food on the wall, or wait for you to give this quirky explanation. This is like a scene from Blossom or something, where the guard is playing the exasperated Dad character. It’s like, “Oh, Piper! What wacky antics have you gotten into now?”


"This Used To Be My Playground“‘s impact

Brooklyn Public Library at Grand a Army Plaza has a big stitched portrait of Hope Davis.

I’m sorry I post this white British lady’s song every time things heat up in the Middle East, but it’s just so goddamn perfect.


Obit of the Day: The World’s Oldest Cat

The average housecat lives 15 years. Poppy was above average - way above average. 

Named “The World’s Oldest Cat” by Guinness World Records in May 2014, Poppy was born in 1990 when Margaret Thatcher was prime minister, George H.W. Bush was president, and Home Alone would win that year’s box office.

Poppy, who died at age 24 on June 6, 2014, was in poor shape at the end of his two-and-a-half decades of life. Blind and unable to climb down the stairs, the feline record holder was taken care of by Jacqui and David West and their two sons. (Mrs. West’s mother was Poppy’s previous owner.)

The record passed to Poppy after the death of Pinky, a cat from Kansas, who died in 2013 at the age of 23. The all-time feline longevitiy record is an astounding 38 years for Creme Puff, who was born in 1968 and died in 2005.

Sources: Guinness World Records, Daily Mail, and BBC

(Image of Poppy, the world’s oldest cat, is copyright of David Hedges/SWNS.com and courtesy of GuinnessWorldRecords.com)

Other animals featured on Obit of the Day:

Blackie, the world’s oldest male hippo

Elwood, the world’s ugliest dog

Lolong, the largest crocodile in captivity

Oliver, the therapy dog

Polo, India’s only gorilla

Shrek, the wandering sheep

I’m older than every cat.

(via laughterkey)


"There is no last taste. The fourth stage of grieving is depression. The Goldfinch is over and you are a wastrel now, you must scavenge out the rest of your days reading about people you don’t care about and can’t believe in. Life is pain, Highness. For this penultimate awful crawl through the five stages I recommend nothing. Just watch TV, I guess.”

—Hannah Messler aka theoppositeofeasy for B&N, How to Get Over The Goldfinch

I’d just like to note that this opens with a comparison to Avatar.

Know what’s really cool? A *billion* pounds.

  • Maya Rudolph: Is that your Starbucks name? I don't like the very personal aspect of Starbucks. I don't like that they ask you your name. I feel like it should just be: "What's your favorite color?" But people always ask me my name and when I say, "Maya," they write it down wrong, like M-I-A or M-Y-A, and then pass it to the next barista and they're like "Mia!" So I got so tired of having to answer to "Mia" and walk around with a cup all day that said "Mia." So I just started saying "Donna," and my Starbucks name is Donna. Nobody ever gets Donna wrong.
  • Natasha Lyonne: What I like to do is to give them my real name but be really hostile each time, as if they're asking me something that I've never heard in my life. [laughs] I give them a really dirty look, "Really? It's Natasha. Okay?" Like I've never been to Starbucks before. Each time. I enter the premises looking for combat.