I Was Born Free

"We're all one thing, Lieutenant. That's what I've come to realize. Like cells in a body. 'Cept we can't see the body. The way fish can't see the ocean. And so we envy each other. Hurt each other. Hate each other. How silly is that? A heart cell hating a lung cell." - Cassie from THE THREE
It would be better for you to turn around and go into the thick grasses, there where one of those strange grassy islets in the riverbed will completely cover you, it would be better if you do this for once and for all, because if you come back tomorrow, or after tomorrow, there will be no one at all to understand, no one to look, not even a single one among all your natural enemies that will be able to see who you really are; it would be better for you to go away this very evening when twilight begins to fall, it would be better for you to retreat with the others, if night begins to descend, and you should not come back if tomorrow, or after tomorrow, dawn breaks, because for you it will be much better for there to be no tomorrow and no day after tomorrow; so hide away now in the grass, sink down, fall onto your side, let your eyes slowly close, and die, for there is no point in the sublimity that you bear, die at midnight in the grass, sink down and fall, and let it be like that — breathe your last.
László Krasznahorkai - Seiobo There Below (translated by Ottilie Mulzet)

Taylor Swift doesn’t shake ANYTHING off though

Pretty sure someone literally used Sheila Heti as toilet paper.

I’m looking at a body language book and it’s insane.




I can’t do the exact math but I probably spend half the time I’m awake absently worrying about my brother. He’s fine, but every time another black male gets shot for no reason, I start getting panicky and shut down and worry about him. He would never be in a position where this would happen to him. He’s not antagonistic (the women in my family are notoriously unbalanced and aggressive so the men have seemingly adapted by being calm and passive) and he’s endlessly polite and patient, so nice that I used to think we weren’t even related. He does not have an inherent distrust of cops. I have been known to stupidly scream at police officers; my brother has taken state exams to become one. 

But he is a black twentysomething-year-old dude, and he is slightly darker than me, and he wears baggy clothes and boots and crooked baseball hats and an earring. He lives in my old, poor neighborhood where cops are constantly on edge because of gang violence and where I’ve woken up due to drive-by shootings or stray molotov cocktails. He sometimes drives a motorcycle with a group of guys in matching Ruff Ryder vests and other times he drives a Mustang while blasting loud music. These are things that Cops Don’t Like. He would never, ever in his life hurt anyone or doing anything bad — I mean, he’s even basically straightedge, so much so that he wouldn’t even take painkillers after a car accident required multiple painful surgeries — but that doesn’t matter, right? I worry because he looks a certain way, because he’s tall and can seem intimidating until you talk to him, because he wears earbuds that impair his hearing, because we both get followed in stores but I’m the only one who notices, because he carries a large cell phone that cops could claim resembles a gun, and because he has metal rods in his legs that set off metal detectors and cause him to limp, preventing him from being able to quickly exit a shitty situation.

If anything were to happen to him, there wouldn’t be any talk about how he is the nicest person anyone knows or how he wanted to be a police officer or join the military. They’d mention that he dropped out of college, though. Or that he was once in a motorcycle gang (which is definitely not a gang, but a group of cool guys who ride bikes and watch movies and lecture me on not going to church). They would say he’s in a gang but would not mention that a car once nearly broke his body in half while that gang was delivering Christmas gifts to children in poverty. But nothing good that you’ve ever done matters if you’re young and black and cops don’t give a fuck, and it’s terrifying.



Teddy Wayne imagines a short film from Amazon: http://nyr.kr/X58AAC

Two towheaded young boys, Timmy and Pete, are playing a first-person action shooter and a mobile-device game.

PETE: Yo, yo, yo, check out this awesome book that all the youths have been SMS text messaging about on their Amazon Fire phones!

TIMMY: Gee whiz—it’s that young-adult book featuring two male and two female junior-high students without parents in a future dystopian society who discover they have supernatural powers and some other things happen.

PETE: Oh, shucks: it’s outrageously priced at $14.99. That’s enough to make me never want to buy anything by that selfish book-length-content creator again!

Photograph: Kevin Dodge/Corbis

Towheaded means ‘very blonde’.

Sincerely, The Fun Ruiner


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had a tab issue

Song of the summer, suckaz!!!

Pretty proud of this one.